CHAPTER  3

As I lay on my bed the next morning, my thoughts then inevitably led to Sebastian's request for my company twice in the same day. I was flummoxed by it, to say the least, especially because of how out of his league I was. Even as a friend. He was a sodding world-famous major movie star and Hollywood icon, disturbingly wealthy and living the high life in LA. I was now but a struggling "mature" student, living with my parents in a tiny town, with nothing but a vague plan as to what I was going to do after graduating with my degree.

The two did not match up in any way whatsoever.

And yet, here I was, trying to get my heartrate and nerves under control enough to manage to get out of bed and go to meet with him again, only this time at his parents' home.

Some of the heightened anxiety I was experiencing was somewhat sated by the fact he had asked me to keep him company for the day, and I was somewhat pleased and relieved by it, because it showed we hadn't strayed too far from where we had been before he'd left. At least he still thought of us as being friends, even after so long.

However, regardless of all that, I was still far from convinced it was the sensible thing to do, going to see him again. How was I ever going to get over him, if I was still willing to jump every time he called? I had this enormous part of my degree due soon enough, and yet here I was willing to, what? Drop it all for him?

All right, no, I wasn't willing to go that far. But I was taking time away from studying and working on it to be around him again.

I really will have to take my homework when I go there, I inanely realised, contemplating the thought, knowing that I would have to accept some kind of compromise regarding this.

How stupid was I, really, even contemplating taking my work with me?

Truthfully, I didn't want to answer that question with any level of honesty – no one wants to admit they've got the IQ of a walnut, after all. But, seriously, how realistic was it that I would be able to work when Sebastian was around? I'd never managed it very well in the past, and I couldn't see how that would have changed. I'd probably end up quoting Tess of the D'Urbyvilles and Pride and Prejudice instead of Measure For Measure, Othello or Twelfth Night, and fail my degree completely.

I think the problem was that reality still quite filtered through all the synapses in my brain, and I still felt like yesterday must have been a dream. I still wasn't quite convinced that yesterday had really happened, it was all so sudden and unprecedented.

As I looked back down at the photo stills from the movie in the magazine, I could barely believe that less than twenty-four hours before I had been arm-in-arm with him once more. In a few hours, I was supposed to go and keep him company again. Well, me, ol' Bill Shakespeare, my trusty Kindle, and my iPad anyway.

It was getting late now, and I needed to get ready. I had spent a long night trying firstly to get Sebastian out of my head, and I had managed to get round to finishing even more notes for the dissertation and had made it to bed in the late(ish) early hours of the morning. The bottom line was that I needed some hardcore coffee to get myself somewhat lucid.

I was no longer used to staying up all night working on something without the carrot of a lot of money and a borderline illegal level of coffee. For the entirety of my degree, I'd been stoically ploughing through everything within reasonable hours, leaving nothing to crunch time, ensuring all my work was done within a proper time frame and with plenty of time to spare. The long hours, hard work, overtime, taking work home and being tied to overbearing bosses, with no concept of personal time or space, was long in the past. Returning to this way of life was an unwelcome blast of the past for me, regardless of the fact that it was "for Sebastian".

Again, begging the question – I was willing to, what? Drop it all for him?

With a grimace, I dragged myself out of bed and entered the same staring contest with the wardrobe as I did with the fridge whenever I was hungry and no one (read: "I", because in London I had lived alone) had not bothered to go out shopping for anything to eat. Just like with the fridge, nothing stood out as being particularly welcome, for a non-date playdate with your old best friend crush that you're pathetically in love with, who happens to be a good contender for the world's most eligible bachelor.

After shifting through hangers and draws for at least twenty minutes, I finally decided on a casual ensemble that might make me look at least presentable. I had honestly come to terms a long time ago that I would never look amazing, gorgeous or stunning – or even particularly pretty. Therefore, vaguely presentable was what I usually aimed for, and tended to manage it quite well. Being as I had worked for years in IT with computers and men who mainly thought in megabits and tech specs, dressing up was never a thing that ever came up, and this would be the first time I'd ever seriously considered it, to be honest.

But… I then actually thought about it for a few seconds more, and fortunately realised what an idiot I was being, before throwing it back out of the nonsense window that it had come flying in from. Most likely on the back of its unicorn, with the aid of a leprechaun.

By the time I had finished my "fashion show" perusal and actually got myself dressed, my bed was covered in clothes strewn from hangers. Trying to ignore the mess, I brushed out my hair, slathered it in products to make it at least try and behave itself, and left it loose in long, flowing auburn waves (absolutely not "ginger"…!). After that palaver, I attempted to put on light make-up – working on the hopeful principle that less was more. Or, at least, made it look like I had a face, instead of a literal blank canvas with a nose.

A cursory glance in the mirror told me that I didn't look like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards, so I left to go and find some very strong coffee to get me through what was left of the morning.

Once in the kitchen, I liberally poured most of the coffee that was still left by my parents in the percolator into my cup, followed with oat milk to make it palatable… ish. Just as I was pouring it down my throat, a mildly perplexed and scruffy-haired Jamie appeared in her perfect pink and fluffy dressing gown and stared at me like I was a three-headed Cerberus dog.

"Where are you going?" she muttered. "And since when do you get up before twelve on a Saturday?"

"I'm going out somewhere, if it has anything to do with you," I replied evasively. Jamie did not know anything about Sebastian De Carr, or that I knew him. She didn't even know or remember that he used to babysit her with me and had, at one point, abjectly refused to let me take care of her without my parents, unless "Uncle Sebseeee" was there, too.

"At this time of the morning?" Jamie asked incredulously.

"Well, if Hell has ended up being frozen over, please apologise to your fellow demi-god friend Satan for me," I shot back, earning an unimpressed, grumpy glare.

I gulped down the rest of my coffee as she turned her back and left for the lounge. After finishing with it, I then went to put on my coat, deciding at the last minute to take my work with me after all, stuffing my laptop and iPad into my enormous bag. It certainly wasn't going to get done being left home alone on the coffee table.

Flinging the bag over my shoulder, I double-checked I had my own keys and opened up the front door, ready to start off on my way, and trying not to get too nervous about returning to the De Carr house for the first time since I was fifteen years old.

I walked up the road quickly, my heart pounding with nerves the whole way, and listening to my heeled boots tapping loudly on the wet pavement as I briskly walked. I had my head bowed to the gusting wind, and my eyes glued to the floor. After about ten yards, my feet were already hurting in these stupid shoes, and I immediately regretted putting them on.

On finally seeing the house for the first time, I stopped for a moment and stared at it. Eventually, I forced myself on towards it with a deep breath.

The De Carrs lived in an average, comfortable two-storey semi with a small front garden surrounded by a small wooden fence. The old family saloon that I had been surprised to find out they still owned and still usually inhabited the drive was gone – and now I knew that Sebastian was definitely there alone. I was also very unimpressed with myself that despite being a hair's breath away from the big Three-Oh, I was still reacting like a teenager with a crush to being around this man. Probably because I had been a teenager with a crush the last time I'd been around that man.

I nervously checked my watch. I was early. This was going to look like I was far too eager. What if he wasn't even up yet? What if I caught him and Kate together? What if he'd changed his mind and wasn't even there?

My insane and erratic thoughts kept running through my head as I carried on slowly, and I made my way up the empty driveway to the front door. Trying to calm the nerves jangling in every one of my cells, I stood on the front step for a few seconds before I knocked and then waited.

It seemed forever before I heard footsteps coming towards the door. Wringing my hands on the strap of my cross-body canvas satchel bag, my heart started to race, making lightheaded. I felt like turning and running back the way I just came. Then the door opened and I realised I couldn't go anywhere anymore, because Sebastian's face peered around the frame. To his credit, his face seemed to light up as he saw me and he smiled widely.

"Hey, Lis" he greeted me cheerfully. "Come on in."

I forced a smile back at him and stepped passed him into the once-familiar hallway. I wandered through into the lounge, where Sebastian held out his hand towards one of the armchairs, official international sign-language for "please sit down". As I sat on one of the armchairs, I glanced up at him and noted he had made as much effort as I had with clothes – he had on well-worn jeans with a t-shirt, and on his feet were his old, familiar, tatty bunny slippers, of all things. Even his hair was casual, with his hair brushed casually, and not gelled as he usually seemed to have it when I had seen pictures of him, or even yesterday.

Seeing the slippers again made me relax a little and smile. Once again, it was almost exactly like the old days, and that made it easier to be around him again.

"It's been a while since I've been here," I remarked, nervously looking about the room. It was then that I suddenly realising it was no longer the same as I remembered, and had clearly had an impressive makeover. "It looks nice."

The room had gone through a dramatic redecoration since the last time I had been there – although that was hardly surprising since it had been about a thirteen year interim. I now looked like something that wouldn't look out of place in an interior decoration magazine. It was incredibly beautiful, almost Georgian in taste and design, and managed to look homely and very stylish at the same time.

"This place looks gorgeous – it must have cost a fortune." I brushed the arm of the chair feeling how was soft the fabric felt as Sebastian lowered himself into a matching armchair opposite.

"I figured it was about time this place got done," he smiled. "I found a great designer in and—"

I looked back at him with surprise. "This was your idea?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Somebody had to make my parents do it. It really was looking rather worn. It's not been redecorated since I was a kid."

Silence fell, and I watched Sebastian shift uncomfortably in his chair, his eyes darting around as I awkwardly sat with my hands clenched. Eventually, his eyes came back to me and he tried to smile.

"So, uh, how's college treating you?" he asked. I tried to ignore the Americanism for university and the back-and-forth accent that came with it, but it was jarring – another reminder that things were, in fact, not the same whatsoever. But still, I returned his attempt at a smile with a weak one of my own, trying not to show my unsteady demeanour too much.

"It's not so bad – if you don't mind constantly being around people sometimes ten years your junior, who insist on thinking of you as old," I told him wryly. "It's hard work, but enjoyable. It's not going to be too easy once I leave, though. Writing jobs and publishing deals are hard to come by. And freelancing isn't quite what it used to be, either, it seems."

"You want to be a writer?" Sebastian asked, surprised. "What happened to all your dreams of being an air stewardess and travelling round the world?"

"Flights of fancy," I quipped teasingly, forcing an eyeroll from Sebastian.

I chuckled lightly at the memory of my old, childish ambitions, which took flight about the same time as my friend did, making me never want to have anything to do with those things that took him away from me ever again.

"Actually, I ended up in IT, making and using databases and working as a freelance contractor in London," I told him with a shrug. "I loved it – still love it, in fact – but I got tired of the long hours, the stress and idiot clients and their strange demands. So, I decided to jack it all in and do something I really wanted to do instead."

"Wow, I never realised you really wanted to take your writing seriously," Sebastian mused. "Though I could never take you anywhere without your ruffled little notebooks coming along, too. Do you even let people read your stuff now? You wouldn't let me anywhere near anything you had written before."

"I have to let people read them. That's what I'm doing at uni – English Literature with Creative Writing. And I write for their newsletter and website, and some other things as well."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That's a radical change. Have you written any books?"

"Three." I reddened slightly at the admission. "All of them useless drivel. And there is hardly any inspiration here to write any others – there really is nothing to write about here."

"You could always write about the famous film star who lives in the little semi on the corner down the road," Sebastian grinned at me. "He and his twin brother secretly fight crimes against bad acting."

I laughed. "And there could always be Anti-Ego Woman, who thwarts said twins and stops them from becoming horrific egomaniacs."

Sebastian pretended to huff and sulk. "All right, point taken. I'll put it back in my suitcase. The ego shall stay dormant until I return to LA and take it back out again."

I laughed and was about to reply when a creak from the door completely startled me. I looked around at where the noise had come from, and I felt my breath stick in my throat by what I saw in the open doorway, because clad in a baby-pink delicate robe and with tussled red hair, was Kate Whittaker. Movie Icon. Hollywood's biggest female lead for years. Sebastian's heavily rumoured love interest.

To make matters worse, was she truly was absolutely stunning – even though she had clearly just got out of bed, she still looked absolutely fabulous with her perfect English Rose complexion and bright blue eyes, with that amazing hair. It was all so different to the usual over-styled and over-tanned Hollywood look, which rather surprised me. But even as I overcame the immediate shock of the woman still being in the house and actually in front of me, the beautiful actress's perfection made me feel ill and very inadequate. I simply wanted to crawl under my chair and pretend that I didn't exist.

I noticed Kate reddened as she noticed me, and to her credit she smiled politely, albeit also rather uncomfortably. I forced a smile in return, not knowing where to look whilst convincing myself not to bolt right out the door in embarrassment. Any and all thoughts of the possibility of ever having a chance with Sebastian went right out the door, along with my brain, when she appeared – clearly she was no ordinary guest in this house.

"Good morning," said Sebastian to her, smiling easily at her. "Sleep OK?"

"Not bad," Kate replied. She ran her hand through her hair uneasily. Sebastian took it upon himself to introduce them.

"Kate, this is Lisa Ryan. Lis, this is Kate Whittaker."

"You're Lisa?" Kate suddenly brightened with a big grin on her face, clearly no longer quite so self-conscious. But then she wouldn't need to be, I realised. Not now she had seen the clearly imagined "competition" for Sebastian. She could now quite obviously see there was no contest between us, and I inwardly groaned when I felt that old familiar feeling of unease and envy about the way there was something so familiar about the way they were together.

Kate came further into the room and held out her hand to me – much to my surprise. I almost didn't take it from petty jealousy, but then I decided to at least pretend to be a grown-up and shook the soft, perfectly manicured hand delicately.

"Yes," I answered her question warily. "Why?"

"I've just heard so much about you," Kate replied cheerfully, smiling mischievously, and perching delicately next to me on the arm of my chair. "You know, just a couple of times. Or more."

I noticed her throw Sebastian an openly suggestive look, so I would know precisely who had been telling her about me, and I was very taken aback by it. I certainly never would have expected Sebastian to have even remembered me, let alone discussed my very existence with people he knew. I absolutely did not expect this ridiculously famous Holly wood movie star to know who I was already or heard anything about me whatsoever. Clearly that conversation should have been the other way around.

"You heard what?" I couldn't resist asking. Kate sneaked a sideways glance at me with a smile.

"Oh, just this and that, you know…" she replied suggestively, as I started turning red with embarrassment and confusion. I looked over at Sebastian, and he definitely was. He was also busy glaring at Kate and didn't notice that I was looking over at him.

"Oh, really?" I said, turning back to Kate. She was happily grinning mischievously.

"Well, I think I'll just go have a shower and get dressed, hopefully look a little more presentable," she chirped, deliberately not answering the question. She got up and tied her hair in a claw grip that was lying on the glass coffee table in the centre of the room. "See you later, sweeties. It was lovely meeting you, Lisa."

"Bye," Sebastian called after her weakly, as she left the room.

I felt far too awkward to inquire further about what Kate had said, and kept quiet, staring down at my hands and not knowing what to say next. Eventually, I glanced up at Sebastian for a second and caught his eye. I felt my cheeks flush again and looked away quickly.

I urged myself to say something and break the silence, but I was coming up blank. Sebastian finally managed to get around to doing it instead.

"So… What do you think of Kate?" he asked her. I paused for a second before answering. This required tact, and I could do tact. I'd learned bosses and CEOs had mightily fragile egos and required delicate handling when being told their data systems sucked and needed fixing a lot.

"She seems nice," I answered diplomatically. What else was I supposed to say, anyway? That said woman was utterly gorgeous, even after having just woken up, and it made me want to crawl under a rock and die? So… Tact. "She's a good actress."

"Yes, she is." Sebastian smiled. "You'll get along with her really well."

"Did you just meet for the film, or did you know her before?" I was subtly trying to gauge more about their relationship. A confirmation either way would at least alleviate the pain of not knowing.

"No, I didn't personally know her. We didn't meet until we were doing Flight 101. The story circling the rumour mill is that the director thought our acting suited without even seeing us together, and decided we would be perfect for him. Personally, I don't believe it. Well, he never said anything, not to me, about it, anyway. All he said during and after the screen test was that we.... 'popped' – whatever that means in actual English."

"I don't blame you for thinking it's probably drivel," I remarked dryly. "They gossip writers rarely write anything other than fiction."

"Precisely."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, it was quite good, but very tiring. It made me never want to crash in a plane."

"It took you to make a film about it to work that one out?" I raised an eyebrow with my mild sarcasm. "Normal people manage to work that out on their own."

Sebastian threw me an unimpressed glare, and I laughed at him.

Sebastian changed the subject. "So, what's in the giant bag?"

I looked back in surprise at the query. "My bag?"

"I was wondering what could possibly be in that enormous Mary Poppins bag you dragged in with you. You could fit a corpse in there."

"Oh, it's just work that I still need to do," I replied, squirming at realising I was going to have to explain that I had brought my "homework" with me. "This morning I realised that if I wanted to get it done on time I would have to do more work on it today... Somehow. Because at this rate it's never going to be finished."

"Can I see?"

More than surprised at his request – considering Sebastian had never wanted to even touch academic work before lest he spontaneously combust or something, and the fact Sebastian De Carr The Movie Icon wanted to see my Bachelor's Degree English Dissertation seemed utterly baffling and bizarre.

"Even after thirteen years, you still want to see my homework, Mr de Carr?" I quipped, teasing him with the way our old English teacher would address him in class.

Sebastian grinned his cheeky grin that showed dimples I hated to love. "Old habits die hard."

Flashbacks to our time in school exploded in my brain. Sebastian used to practically glue himself to my side when we shared one of the old traditional double-tables of high school, to make sure he could see everything I was doing. At home, he used to all but sit on my lap to make sure he copied my homework diligently, whilst also knowing full-well to change it up enough to not be able to be pinpointed as cheating.

Outwardly, I rolled my eyes, whilst inwardly I shrugged it all off, and opened up the bag. I dug around, removing my overlarge iPad, wrapped in it's protective keyboard-case and handed it to him. He looked at them, his expression blank. I shook my head in amusement and went to sit next to him to show him how to work it. I also showed him the Shakespeare texts and essay notes on them, and then he read some of the essay body I had already managed to scrape together. By the end, he was rubbing his temple and shaking his head.

"Well," he said eventually, "better you than me. I didn't understand a word."

He handed the things back. I looked at him in clear amusement , attempting valiantly not to outright laugh at that bewildered expression he had.

"It's not that bad," I couldn't help laughing. "Old Willie's great, I love his stuff."

"I'm glad you like him. I've already turned down two Shakespeare parts because I couldn't even understand the audition script."

My brain may have short-circuited with the information that this utter moron had been offered the opportunity to play in William Shakespeare productions, and he'd had the gall to say no? Not to mention, I could have gone to see something of his that required somewhat some intelligence, where his choices were clearly created with the IQ of a gnat in mind.

My horrified expression seemed to throw him somewhat; probably understandable, since I just mutely stared at him in stunned silence. He blinked back at me with surprise.

"What?" He blankly stared back at me without guile. The man was sometimes so oblivious it was infuriating.

"You turned down the chance to play in Shakespeare productions? Are you out of your mind? And how can you not understand a script?" I exclaimed. "We went over and over his work with you when we read Romeo and Juliet in third year English together – I explained everything to you…. I knew you didn't listen to a word I said! Even though it really is simple – it is in English, after all."

"Oh that is not English, and I clearly should have sent them to you to do it."

I shot him a cold glare. "Well, if you hadn't cut me out of your life for thirteen years, I could have helped you make at least one decent film with some substance."

Sebastian bristled at the attack, but then pursed his lips with a grudging sigh. He patted my leg and met my eyes.

"Wow, you really are mad at me, aren't you?" he mused dully. "Well, I guess I deserved that. I'm sorry the class of movies that I tend to make aren't quite up to your standard of intellectual... bias. But for the record, I've really liked all the films I've made."

I huffed out a sigh of regret and put my head in my hands from guilt at snapping at him. I also heard the restraint in attempting not to sound bitterly uptight about what he thought I felt about his choice of jobs. He might have been able to manage it with a camera in front of him without pause or issue, bit in front of me, he couldn't hide anything.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into my palms. Slowly, I raised my head to look back up at him. "And, yeh, your films were fine. I've seen them all, and, I have to admit, I enjoyed them too."

"What— You mean you've seen them all-all?"

"Yes," I shrugged.

"Well. Wow... Thanks for actually going," Sebastian replied, looking rather bemused. He looked back at me and his own filled with apology. "I really never did deserve you as a friend."

"Well, no," I retorted. I offered a mischievous smile. "Especially since you never actually did pay me back for all the times I let you copy my homework, when you promised you would."

Sebastian laughed. "I hate to think how much that bill is now after so many years of interest."

"I doubt even you could pay it," I retorted flippantly with a smirk.

Sebastian stared at me, amusement in his eyes. "How much interest were you charging?"

"Just one hundred per cent – per day, every day," I answered, grinning teasingly. "And that's over fifteen years, given you started copying me when we were about eleven."

"I think I'll need to borrow your homework to do that kind of maths."

I looked back at him wryly. "Isn't that how all that debt started in the first place?"

Sebastian laughed lightly and leaned back in the sofa.

"Hey, I'll tell you what," he smiled. "Why don't you do your work on all that gobbledygook for a little while, and this afternoon we can take Kate around to see some of the sights here?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, relieved he was being so sweet about being able to do some work after what I had said to him about his own. Sebastian linked his arm through mine and pulled me to lean back next to him.

"You need to do some… stuff for this thing about your Shakespeare guy, and I coerced you to come here instead," he went on. "And on top of that I abandoned you for many years without a word and made you mad at me, which I don't like. So, really, it's only fair."

Pressed up against his shoulder, his arm linked tightly through mine, I barely heard him over the blood pounding in my ears as my heartbeat jumped up into what felt like quadruple figures. That bicep was large and solid, and his face was so close, so, before I was tempted to do anything stupid or reckless, I quickly looked back at the iPad that was still in my free hand.

"Well, in that case, it sounds good to me," I agreed as breezily as I could with him holding me like that. "Although I can't imagine what sights there are for Kate to see. Willowfall is hardly London."

"There are a few," Sebastian argued lamely.

"Sebs, she will be bored out of her mind."

"Of course not," Sebastian replied confidently. "You know—"

A loud scream suddenly echoed through the house, cutting off Sebastian's sentence. We both looked at each other, and Sebastian jumped up and called out.

"Kate? Are you OK?"

He immediately disappeared up the stairs, leaving me wandering up to the door of the lounge and waiting to be told there wasn't an axe murderer up there. After a few seconds of muffled arguing, curiosity got the better of me and she followed Sebastian's trail up to the bathroom.

When I got to the door, I glanced in nervously. Standing in the middle of the room was Kate, wrapped in a tiny bath towel, her robe lying on the floor. She was glaring at Sebastian while he laughed loudly at her, his head in the bath, fishing around for something by the plug. Kate was whining at him to stop laughing as she tried to keep her towel from falling off, and Sebastian took absolutely no notice, blithely carrying on with whatever he was doing in the tub.

To be uncomfortably honest, I felt a pathetic pang of jealousy and embarrassment watching the fiasco playing out in the room. Sebastian hadn't even batted an eyelid at Kate's half-nakedness, and it was quite obvious that the towel was all she had on – and since I had just seen the film they had made, I was well aware that he was no stranger to what was underneath that towel, too.

"Gotcha!" Sebastian suddenly cried out triumphantly, and I curiously peered farther round the door to see why.

To my utter horror he was holding up an upside-down tumbler glass with a horribly huge spider climbing up the side, and I skedaddled back around the doorframe for my own safety, still peeking inside to see if he was coming out. He kept it in with a folded sheet of paper and shoved it into Kate's face, a giant grin plastered over his face as he did so. She screamed louder and pushed him away with her foot, after which he then carefully took it to the window and let the thing loose outside. He then spotted me and grinned wider.

"Can you believe that the scream was for that little creature," he mocked cheerfully.

"Thank you, Sebastian, for utterly mortifying me even more in front of your friend," Kate snapped dryly, scowling at him. She hopped off the toilet lid and smacked him on the shoulder. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to have my bath now."

"No problem, darling," Sebastian said with dripping sarcasm, patting her bare shoulder. "It's always nice to see you so grateful for the things I do for you. I'll see you later… Though, hopefully, not quite so much!"

He shut the bathroom door behind him as he left and just barely touched my arm to indicate for me to follow him downstairs. Back in the lounge, Sebastian dropped into the couch and sighed comically.

"Do you see what I have to put up with?" he laughed, patting the couch for me to sit next to him. "She was like that the whole time in California. She gave some of the crewmen the real run around when there was a spider or moth in the trailer. Some of them definitely not complaining when she needed saving while she was in the shower, though!"

"I'll bet…" I grumbled, sitting down next to him and wondering how much of a thrill it gave him to save her himself, though of course I didn't care to actually ask.

"You're not like that, are you?" he asked, and I couldn't help but laugh at that question.

"Oh no. I'm much worse," I grinned. "There's no way I'd have gone back in the bath after that thing was in it. Actually, I wouldn't even go back into the room. Preferably, I'd be out of the house."

"Oh, grief!" Sebastian groaned and shook his head with mock-despair. "Damn women! The two of you'd have a hell of a time in the summer, screaming at every gnat that went by! The poor spiders will be permanently deaf."

"I know you're saying bad things about me down there Sebastian!" Kate's voice drifted down from up the stairs.

"Of course I'm not, honey," yelled back Sebastian. "As if I'd do anything like that."

"I know that's exactly what you'd do," retorted Kate. "Let her make up her own mind about me before you poison her with your lowly opinions."

Sebastian ginned widely and leaned against the back of the sofa. He sat so close to me, I really didn't know where to look. My instinct was to run away, very fast – but since that would be classed as rude, I just sat still and stared at my hands instead.

I had not expected such strong feelings to be evoked by seeing him again, and I was taken aback by how thirteen years hadn't seemed to make a damn-worth of difference to my teenage crush on him. In fact, being adults and having those feelings were starting to prove to me that even back then I really had been in love with him, and I clearly still was. Probably always would be. It didn't help that it seemed that he hadn't really changed much either – even edging towards thirty, and being a successful and highly-coveted film star, he still seemed to pretty much be the same Sebastian I had always known. It did not help those feelings I had become more subdued, like I wanted them – needed them – to be.

The worst thing was that instead of being proved right that I'd just had a teenage crush on him, I was apparently being forced to come to terms with the fact I was hopelessly in love with someone I didn't have a hope in hell with. To be honest, it was leaving me rather dazed and confused – I would have thought that by now I would have known better that to feel this way about someone I could never have a relationship with. Add to that the fact that I was actually very angry at him for not speaking to me for over a decade, and I was left very bewildered about my feelings towards him – within two days I was constantly flying between wanting to kiss him and wanting to throw very large rocks at his head.

The thing was that I knew there really was some common sense in that brain of mine somewhere – unfortunately, it looked like I was going to have to send a search party out for it this time.

"So," Sebastian said, breaking into my wandering thoughts, "how about you do these things for your Shakespeare guy? Then when Kate comes out later we can go out."

"No problem," I agreed, relieved to actually have something else to focus on. "So, where are you planning to go?"

"Uhm…" Sebastian thought hard, and was clearly struggling. If he came up with anything, he probably deserved a prize. "How about the castle? Or maybe the beach… No, definitely not the beach. Hmm, what about the lake and rock gardens?"

"That sound almost bearable, if you're already nearly brain-dead," I retorted. I pretended to listen as I concentrated on my setup, and running through the iPad's writing app to find the right page. "You've got to admit though, there's not that many places to see if you're not planning of dying of boredom."

"Maybe not to you, but they're really interesting when they're not 'normal'. I missed those things when I left. There aren't many things like that over there, and if you see a ruined castle you've probably been on LSD or accidentally wandered into Disneyland after the apocalypse."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, deciding I would rather concentrate on something simple, like opening up Word files and browser tabs for research and writing – not on the fact Sebastian's brain was about to explode with the effort the task of finding somewhere interesting for two twenty-something Hollywood Superstars to go in Willowfall. I also didn't want to think about the fact that one of them was sitting right next to me. I suddenly became hyper-aware he had moved himself even closer.

"There is nothing I've missed," I told him honestly. "Although I do admit that maybe the rock garden and lake can look rather beautiful, especially on a sunny day."

"It's nice enough out," Sebastian mused. "We can show her the beauty of the place."

Sebastian leaned over my shoulder and watched as I flipped through the virtual pages of my Kindle for the right Shakespeare texts, then to the right section. I glanced around at him, and then found his face was much closer than I realised when I nearly hit his nose with mine. I had to take a steadying breath and turned quickly back to focus hard on the text in front of me, trying to stop myself from bolting out the door and running away.

"Maybe I should have taken up college," Sebastian mused quietly, his voice soft next to my ear. "I mean, if this acting ever falls through, what else have I got? I have a CV of films and some TV shows and nothing else, really. I barely did high school in the US and I just about scrambled my GED over there. I've got no specialised qualifications, though. Most of the people I work with, even for the smallest roles, have studied at some of the top-named schools – Central School, RADA, LAMDA, LIPA, the NYFA, Julliard... You name it, they've been there. And I haven't."

"I really don't think that's anything to be worried about," I replied dryly. "I don't honestly think you'll be ever out of pocket or work. These guys are making a fortune out of you and they aren't going to give that up anytime soon."

"I'm not getting any younger, and that's usually the name of this game."

I turned to look at him in surprise. I never imagined I would ever find myself needing to bolster his confidence or reassure him in regards to his acting career – or anything else for that matter. Sebastian had been dedicated to becoming an actor since I had known him, and usually had an air of complete self-confidence, pure charisma and complete ease with everything around him. I had never, ever known him to have doubts about anything before. Unless it was schoolwork.

Sebastian was looking back at me, his expression somewhere between wistful and genuinely anxious. I also guessed there was probably only three other people in the entire world who he might have that kind of conversation with, and since neither Kate, Caspian, nor Sally were here, it fell to me.

"You must have more money than you need, so it's not like you'll ever have any financial problems, especially since you're still going to be working for at lest the foreseeable future," I told him, gently but bluntly. I turned to look at him clearly, and tucked my hair behind my ears, so I could talk to him without it falling in my face and irritating me. "Sebs, you're one of Hollywood's most coveted actors now, and you have been for over a decade. You can't deny that you can pretty much pick and choose your price and your roles, and you have what every actor wants. You will also clearly have that for many, many years to come and I don't think you'll ever have to worry about anything, least of all your finances, again. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about, especially if you're sensible."

Sebastian was now looking so intently and earnestly at me, his gaze making squirm somewhat because I didn't like how it was making me feel about it. I quickly turned back to the iPad and tried not to give into the urge to crawl under the couch and never come back out again. I should probably never, ever give out advice about anything – he obviously now thought I was an idiot, if the way he was looking at me was anything to go by.

Sebastian remained silent for a few minutes, making me feel even more awkward, and more than a little mortified at trying to muster an opinion about things I probably didn't understand.

"Thank you, Lis." The quiet murmur came in my ear not a moment later, full of true, but gruff, sincerity.

"You're welcome," I responded quietly in return. "One thing you know about me, I'll always tell you the truth, no matter whether you like it or not."

About most things, anyway. Well, everything, but one.

"I know."

I fidgeted with my hands, took a breath, and turned back to the essay I was supposed to be writing, trying to think only of Big Willie (as I had called him since we did our first Shakespeare text in high school). There was something so inherently familiar in Sebastian sitting with me whilst I worked on such things, the words seemed to flow easier ideas popping into my head that I'd struggled with before.

At some point, I heard a small noise coming from the doorway. When I looked around, admittedly in rather a hazy daze after being so focused, I noted Kate was standing in the doorway, looking a little baffled at the silence in the room. When I focused on her properly, my jaw actually dropped when I saw her. The Hollywood Star looked even more amazing than she did on screen, and I was totally awe-struck by her. The fact that she actually looked so amazing without the assistance of airbrushing software and a professional makeup team made me all the more nauseated and self-conscious about being there. These were absolutely The Beautiful People and I was most definitely the Odd One Out, by far.

"Has someone died?" Kate asked, seemingly bemused by the quietness. I managed a cursory glance at Sebastian out of the corner of my eye and saw him smile.

"No," he answered, with a slight snort. "Lisa is doing her college work and I'm being a good friend by keeping quiet and reading it over her shoulder."

It was my turn to snort at hearing that. "Just in the same way you were being a good friend when we were teenagers and doing exactly the same thing when I was having to do your schoolwork as well?"

Sebastian shot me his literally-famous charming smile and patted my leg. "Of course."

Naturally, I snorted again.

"I hope you remember that you're not allowed to do any thinking," Kate quipped, as she sat down on an armchair across from us. "We don't want you to hurt yourself now."

"There has never been a chance of that " I remarked unthinkingly. A moment later I realised if voluntarily spoken to Kate Whittaker,and felt my cheeks heat up in mortification.

Kate went threw me a big, knowing smile while Sebastian glared at us both. She smiled wider at the glare and picked up a hairbrush from the coffee table in the centre of the room.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked me with interest, pulling the brush through her long and glistening trademark flame-red hair, making me want to crawl into a hole to hide the insane chaotically auburn mess I had keeping my head company.

"English Literature," I answered her weakly, indicating the iPad. "This is about Shakespeare."

"Oh, my God, that's awesome," Kate exclaimed, grinning widely. "I love him, though I only really studied him in drama class, not English, though. But that doesn't explain why you're voluntarily doing your assignments here. Surely Sebastian is far too irritating?"

"I spent nearly five years putting up with precisely this," I told her, feeling amusement at Sebastian's pouting. "It's more natural than breathing by now."

"I'm trying to help her finish, so we can go out later," Sebastian interjected indignantly. Kate laughed at him.

"Yeh, right! Hell will freeze over before that happens."

"So, where would you like to go today?" Sebastian offered, changing the subject. "We've got a list of places we can take you to see and there are also the shops you two can go to – without me."

Kate laughed at him again. "Trust me, I will never be even attempting to take you out shopping again. So, hit me – where else is there to go?"

"Well," said Sebastian hesitantly, "there's the lake and rock gardens, which are absolutely beautiful on a day like this. Or there's the castle, which is in top of Malkin Hill, and there's also the beach if you're really desperate. Take your pick."

"Is that all?" Kate threw him a rather pitying glance. "And you made this place out to be so much fun."

"It depends who you're with."

"And I'm with you, so I'm going to have a hell of a bad time."

Sebastian scowled at her and huffed. Kate laughed at his mild sulking.

"I try to be nice, and you still have to be mean to me," he grumbled.

"Oh, stop your whining, Sappy De Carr," she teased. "Well, how about we go to this rock garden place, then? I suppose surely not everything you touch turns to manure."

"You did," muttered Sebastian under his breath.

"So? According to you, I was worse than that anyway."

As I listened to their banter, I looked from one to the other with some bemusement. I envied Kate for having such a good relationship with Sebastian, but then maybe that was quite normal when you spent most of your days kissing each other and letting it all hang out in the nude scenes. They seemed to get on like sister and brother – griping at each other like cat and dog and teasing each other constantly, but that could be said for couples as well. It probably also meant that that I had less of a chance than a rabid hamster for ever having Sebastian's heart, since it seemed clearly completely caught up in her.

I sighed. Life was certainly very unfair sometimes. Life was hard enough at the moment – I didn't need to be in love with someone I couldn't have as well. However, for the time being, I decided to try not to think about it whilst I was with them, and just try to get through this afternoon.